01.31.2008 No Sense

I really have to learn how to act in public. I really have to learn when it's ok to joke around at work and with who and with what. Today, i learned a good lesson and hopefully, i'll remember it. Don't joke around too much cause people just don't get your sense of humor and work is not the place to joke around with others who don't know your humor. I didn't get yelled at but i did feel the tension in the air, i amd going to obsesse about this for a while and i'm going to own up to my stupidity and i'm going to take what ever comes my way and hopefully i'll learn. i'm hoping.

01.28.2008 Beer Bust Review

As i thought, beerbust was a bust. I don't think anyone noticed me and i wasn't really in the mood to be noticed. I just sort of took up space. Oh did his best to get me happy but i wasn't having it. He was his usual "i fucked him. and him. and him. yeh him. i fucked him. and him. yeh that guy too. and him." Every cute guy that walked in, he apparently fucked. I seriously rolled my eyes and knew if he said it one more time or if he started to count up the number of guys he fucked in the bar, i was going to call it a night. He seriously wanted to sing karaoki cause Rafael was going and he didn't want to hang out with me anymore so i did the gentlemanly thing and left. I could feel him almost race out the door to get to someplace other than with me.

I"m seriously going to have to re-think this homosexual deadstyle of mine. there's something wrong.

Handsome hunky muscled Latino in a too small red bikini

01.27.2008 Evil Things He Says

Oh really pisses me off a lot. nice brunch with his friend Scott D and had the very nice unexpected hello from joey. Of course Oh just couldn't keep his mouth shut and he had to say something mean spirited. Oh is a mean guy. Oh says "that guy gives me the creeps" i said i like Joey. he's a sweetie (cause he is a sweetheart), later on i said Joey was very popular on the trip we took and Oh says "well of course anyone who barebacks is going to be popular. the guy has aids" Oh is so so full of SHIT. that's so not joey but oh had to say something that mean just to say something mean. i didn't say anything cause i'm trying to not fight with the guy but i may have to later say don't ever say shit about joey anymore. end of story. no discussions. zip it.

Oh is really trying my patience. i have to go out tonight to that damn beer bust. He already said he told the two guy friends of his that i don't like them and i said "that figures you would". i may end up going for a few minutes then leave. i'm on edge with him and it doesn't look good. I think distance is really good for our friendship so him living here is not a good thing.

Today was chest day and it was kind of not a good workout. it was a light chest but i had this awful gurgly stomach that just wasn't helpful when pushing heavy weight. no fun at all. Totally HOT looking light skinned black guy today. Totally hunky muscle body. nice chest. nice shoulders . nice arms. nice mid section. sexy lips. He had a baseball had on but i am sure he had a nice buzzed head. so so hot.

What a hot looker in a Cowboy hat

01.15.2008 Ignore Me

It's such a difficult thing for me to be social. i feel so much more comfortable just sitting there in a crowd and not being noticed. For me, to make the effort to be part of the crowd, is difficult. I was somewhat successful today but i noticed i would drift off and then sometimes i'd hide in my own little world as everyone engaged with each other. Each comment from me was a chore. I do notice that i'm at ease if i'm mean and evil. If i say something mean, it comes very naturally to me and it gets a laugh. I'm comfortable with this role when i'm with a group and it's something i should develop more. Mean/Evil fits me.

I have my weekend guest this weekend. I thought i was going to have to train it out to San Jose so i'm in a way glad i just have to clean the house. I hate cleaning the house but it's better than the train and SJ isn't someplace i want to spend much time in. I'm sure its a very nice city but if i'm going to train it someplace, i'd rather be in SF.

Another cute guy in a RedHat. DJ AAron

01.15.2008 Pay Attention

I'm reading the Kite Runner and it's getting good. It's been really good but now it's getting into the meat of the book. I had trouble reading the book on the train cause the father's illness and death made me tear up which isn't so good when you are on a packed train. i had to stop and start the book yesterday. I get so involved with my reading that i either forget my stop on the train or i get off at the wrong stop. Today, i got off at the wrong stop, fortunately, it's only a half mile walk to my correct stop so it wasn't that bad. the weather was nice and it was still day light so i was safe. After my little stroll, i didn't feel up to my regular should day (i like working shoulders) so i just had dinner and watched an odd youtube video of Tom Cruise accepting some award for scientology. That guy is on freakazoid.

The boss gave a parting "fuck you" to the unit. she's such a bitch and i'm glad i didn't congrats at her retirement. i wanted to give a halleluja! but i kept quiet while every padded her on the back. Today she left her mark and did something mean/evil but she doesn't care cause she's gone in a month.

I love guys with buzzed or shaved or shorty short hair. so nice.

01.14.2008 Good Monday

Well Monday wasn't as bad as i thought it was going to be. I may actually meet my January 21st deadline, which is good. My boss is leaving in February which is such good news. All in all a nice Monday which doesn't happen often. Maybe this is the start of a good week? maybe? I have the three day holiday to look forward to, so that's good.
Good looking Latino for this winter Monday

01.13.2008 Death

Things to Remember.

Start the car once in a while or the battery dies.

Dead.

I'm going to have to add this reminder on my calendar.

What a shitty way to end a shitty weekend and a start of a shitty week...

01.13.2008 Week End

Ok. That was a suckassed weekend. first i had to work, which was ok since i didn't blow anything up but of course i had to ask how to do this and how to do that a few times so that bothers me.

Dinner with Bsilly was nice. Met some nice guys. I put on my best face and still i felt uncomfortable. Not attached to the group which isn't so unusual cause i'm not part of this group. I did put on my flirt with oiram but he's definitely not my type. I think kcirtap was jealous with the flirting. I felt bad that i was about the only one who didn't give a gift. my bad social skills strike again.

I broke two of my rules of seduction, 'be generous', i was cheap. i'm pissed off at myself at that.

Sexy Guy in a Cowboy Hat

01.10.2008 Weekends Almost Here

Tomorrow will be a breeze, i have a couple of projects i have to complete but they should be easy. A very easy day at work,i hope.

I have no plans this weekend, none at all. I have to work overtime on saturday but that's it. The highlight of the weekend will probably be a trip to costco. I live the vida loca. I should go out and do some face time at the localbars but i have Battlestar season II.5 and The L Word season 4. Since my cold is practically gone i'll look into changing my workout routine but on saturday i think i'll workout at the gaygym. I need a new hobby. I think next weeekend i'm going to have to go to San Jose but luckily that's a three day weekend.

Wifebeaters look sexy on some men.

01.09.2008 Commuter Reads / X-Men: The Return

X-Men Book
fluff commuter reading.
X-Men: The Return by Chris Roberson
This was a no brainer fun comic book book. The book had an odd team (Cyclops, Nightcrawler, Collosus, Kitty Pride, Betsy Braddock, Rogue, Beast, and Doug Ramsey). The book pairs them off in interesting teams and they act and react the way you want them to. Fun no brainer book, sort of embarrassed reading it on the daily commute to work but then i really shouldn't since you have the homeless guy with underwear as earmuffs.

I just started The Kite Runner. I hear it's more serious than the X-Men book and so far, it is. I'm on page 70 or so and it's kind of rough but i'm getting into it. sad and rough, interested in where it's going even though i've read some of the movie reviews so i have a good idea. Next book will be another fluff, i think a zombie book that i recently bought.

Another cute guy in a red hat

01.08.2008 Gloom

Another gloomy rainy day. I was actually very busy at work, i like it busy, i had deadlines and i kept most of them. I think it's supposed to rain again tomorrow but be clear in the weekend which is good but i have to work this weekend overtime.

It was shoulder day today, which is a favorite workout day. I noticed i look kind of "slim" in my face which is odd since i don't think i'm losing weight but i have to be careful cause i'm in a gaining weight mode right now. Winter should be about lifting heavy and gaining weight.

Craig David is sure one handsome man. He looks sexy in just a plain white tshirt and jeans. that's a good sign when you don't need a lot to look sexy.
Craig David - Hot Stuff (Let's Dance)

01.07.2008 Kingdom

Kingdom was such a supergreat movie. started out like an intense episode of CSI: Saudi Arabia and then all hell breaks loose. Everyone in the movie was great. I loved the messy fight that Jennifer Garner has as her character literally is fighting for her life and doing what everyone should and hopefully would do, bite the guy in the head and stab him in the crotch. Jamie Foxx was good but kind of played the regular Jamie Foxx no nonsense character he plays a lot. Jason Bateman also kind of played his usual smartassed character. Still it was one great thrill ride and had a sad ending and an even sadder end. totally recommended.

I started to read Kite Runner. I'm on page 14, i have a feeling i know where it's going but i'm keeping an open mind. the language is very "florid".

Latino Cutie

01.06.2008 Term Limits

I have to start putting time limits on my internet. I end up wasting time in the gay.com chat rooms or waiting for someone to notice me in adam4adam. This was one of my new years resolutions and it hasn't really clicked in yet. My current excuse is that my cold is preventing me from working out so if i'm not working out, then i'm on the internet. I definitely need to look into getting a hobby. crotchet anyone? As soon as this damn cold gets out of my body, i'll definitely do less internet. in the mean time, why am i being ignored on gay.com and adam4adam?

Sexy Cowboy

01.05.2008 Adam4

I get no responses at all from my adam4adam account.
None.
i have a hidden picture so that maybe a reason.
guys like to see what they want and don't want and when they don't see anything, they usually go to the crotch shots. My picture isn't a crotch shot, it's a g rated full body shot, black and white, i look chunky in the picuture is a nice buzzed haircut. i think it looks good even though i'm chunky in the pix and i don't look good in a buzzed haircut but it's a recent pix but still, it's hidden.

The profile also has a disclaimer "Not into hookups". kind of stands out in the sea of NSA and Horny or Looking for Now.

I'll have to think about that profile, i already deleted the "Wallflower" comment cause it sounded kind of ... well you know, gay.

I love shoulders, Just love shoulders

01.04.2008 Wind

I can take the rain. i don't like it but i can take it. I just don't like wind. then you add the rain and it's not my favorite thing. walking during lunch was a challenge to stay standing. it was that windy. the trains weren't working because of all the downed power lines and broken tree limbs so i had a hell of a time getting back home.

Once i got home, there's a note on the door, which i was sure was someone saying they were mad cause a limb fell down and decapitated their child. I was wrong, it just was the neighbor letting me know a limb was balancing between her house and mine. She doens't like trees so she has none, cut them all down and thinks i should do the same. I have some major storm cleaning around the house, break out the chainsaw and the rickety latter. i'll either break my neck, electrocude myself, or chainsaw my body in half.

I don't like the wind. it blows.

This is one white guy. He has cute pretty little nipples.

01.03.2008 Quentin Elias Recent Pictures

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01.03.2008 Quentin Elias

Is it me or has Quentin Elias gotten too big?
I really do like guys who are stocky and muscley and all that but i liked Quentin when he was muscely but not so steroided big. Not that there is anything wrong with steroids but i liked Quentin when he was well muscled not steroided muscled. His pout even looks like it's on steroids.
I still think he's hot but he's not sort of blowup doll hot. ok. he's not hot to me anymore but he once was very hot.

http://www.quentinelias.com/

01.02.2008 Shayne Ward

I have this thing for men with buzzed hair. I like it a lot. To me, it's sexy on men. I'm not a long hair fabio fan. It's just too odd for me.

I don't have the look to pull off buzzed hair.
I have this pale skull, black and grey buzz hair and odd bumps and divits and ridges in my skull.
It's not a nicely formed skull. I sort of look like i escaped from the mental institution after shock therapy.
I look pretty bad in a buzz but i buzz it anyway cause it's so much easier to work with and it kind of has a butch look about it which is cool. I like buzzed hair.
No fuss.
No muss.


Shayne Ward is one cute guy. He's a pretty guy. I like the way he looks in a buzz. he's a cute guy with a nice skull. the music isn't something i'd download but the video is nice to look at.
I guess he won a season of The X Factor (American Idol is the US version of this show but with celebrity coaches)

01.01.2008 Buzz

Fun With Hair

The hair is buzzed off for the new year.
I really should have gotten before during and after pixs but the buzz was sort of an accident. I didn't mean to use the 2 guard on the low setting, but once it's done, you just have to go for it so that's what i did. it's nicely buzzed for the cold winter months.

I am now sporting the deranged ex-marine look.

It's winter so i can keep it short and wear hats and not worry about hat hair.
i'll let it grow out in the spring when it starts to get warm then buzz it off again for the summer months.

01.01.2008 Tuesday New Years Eve

Look up the word "Adorable" in the dictionary and you will see Joseph Gordon-Levitt's face.

The New York Times has a cute video of Joseph ( http://runway.blogs.nytimes.com/ ).

Watch it and swoon at the cuteness.

Try as i might, i didn't hook-up last night. NYE was as uneventful as expected and the trying to hookup was really a half or to be honest a no hearted try. As catherine Tate would say "I'm just not drunk enough" or most likely, they weren't.

I just don't have the "moves" or the "grooves" that drive men wild. I'm not talking about the dancefloor, i'm talking about that unmistakeable vibration that successful men give off that drives guys wild. I don't vibrate. I think i give off a snore or a thud. I think i fade into the background and then disappear.

If you watch the video, you will notice that Joseph gives off an adorable vibe. He makes me smile the moment i see him. Not a sexual vibe for me cause he isn't my "type", he's on the twinky side which is cute to snuggle with on a cold night.

Love this new song by Martha Wash (Keep Your Body Working - VJMF & Tony Moran Edit)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78yS7GmcGkA