02.19.2008 I'm So Confused

The heats back on (literally and figurately).
Oh seems to have decided to be nice to me again.
Oh talking to me and trying to pal around with me again.
Oh invited me to lunch today but the last couple of lunches were not friendly so i'm wary and i declined.
Oh wanted me to meet up with a co worker of his for lunch and i declined. i'm still not sure how he's going to treat me so i'm going to be careful.
Oh called while waiting for his friend to arrive for lunch and again invited me cause he wanted me to meet her but i declined again. So we chatted about possibly cleaning the garage this weekend to make room for his stuff and integrate his food into my cupboards.
Am i being too sensitive or paranoid in thinking that he's just being nice to me cause he really doesn't have anyone else to trust with staying with and doing some of the favors he wants done?
I'm confused and i'm taking it easy

Buzzed. I like guys with a buzz

02.18.2008 Civil

Civil.

Oh and I are doing the civil thing.
being civil with each other.
I'm trying friendly but he's not interested in my friendship.
Oh just wants to be civil.
I have all these things i want to say but i'm biting my tongue.
I know that if i say anything, he's going to take it the wrong way (On purpose) and it will make matters worse.
I was going to ask him straight out what this was about. are we no longer friends. but i decided against it.
i was going to ask him on a scale of Tom on one side and a buddy on the other, where i land. he hates Tom. But i didn't. i'm going to just sit back.
we go out to breakfast or lunch and he doesn't talk to me at all. mainly one word responses to my questions.
I make the effort to be nice but he's not taking it.
Then he disappears for the day.
He'll take on his cell phone and slyly talk "behind" my back.
So we are being civil.
cold and civil.

I may be contributing to the "cold" since, i've decided, that he doesn't want anything to do with me so i'm not going to make an effort to make his stay comfortable, I don't turn on the heat since i'm usually the only one home so guess what, i don't turn on the heat anymore. He made a comment today "Man, it's warmer outside than inside"
Cold yeh.

He's a hot latino

02.17.2008 Put on a Happy Face

I tried today to ease the tension.
explain what i said.
but Oh wasn't hearing it.
I did my best.
I put my best foot forward.
I think i should just let it go.
I'm not going to be petty or anything.
I promised to let him stay for two weeks.
I will be on my best behavior.
I won't be angry or hurt.
I will continue to be nice to Oh.
I think after he leaves, it's best to move on to something else.
It will be ackward because he practically lives at the club but i had already decided i wanted nothing of the club.
I have to start making up for lost friends since Oh has been around.
I have a lot of fences to mend.
I think he's been a negative effect on me lately so i think it will be good when he is no longer in my life.

02.17.2008 Stop the Countdown.

That didn't take long.

One day.

Oh is furious with me and has stopped talking with me.
He kept asking me "are you mad at me. are you mad at me" so today, i told him why i wasn't happy. the driving a strange car in a strange town and i was stressed out and he has to ask every miniute "are you mad at me are you mad at me"

He didn't like that at all my answer.

I am basically a non-person to him now. I live in my house with someone who could care less about me. I'm bothered by it but i don't think i'm going to be crying over it.

The way i see/sense it is that, our friendship is over in his eyes. I'm just some"thing" to be used until he gets his own place. He did this exact thing to Eric and now it's my turn.

Luckily for him this all happened AFTER i helped him move. he gets all the benefits of a free room and board and he doesn't have to acknowlege me at all. He's in the bird seat right now. I have a feeling he's going to use this as much as possible. Use my good nature and willingness and doormat personality to get all that he needs then just drop me. He's probably out tonight with his friends of the moment, talking shit about me behind my back. I'm here at home watching DVDs.

This new year, new birthday, new life is sure the shits.

Nice Cowboy Hat

02.15.2008 Happy February 15th To Me

Yep. Just another day. woke up around 8am. took my supps. doing laundry. cleaned the fridge. i have to start on cleaning the house later. Should go to the gym but i think i'll do a chest workout at home. another year gone by and it's about the same as last year. yep. just another day.

Oh calls and says i can take the train and arrive any time i want. of couse, he says he needs to get here before 5 so that means i have to get on the train before 10am. sure sure. any time i want, so says Oh.


Oh is moving in on Saturday, Countdown to disaster. He says only two weeks and then says "but after two weeks you are going to want me to stay longer"...ok, Oh, No.

White

02.11.2008 The Straw

I am so done with going out to the club. Last night was the last night (well until the next last night). Almost got in a fight (physical) fight with a dumb ass who was mad that i pushed his friend on purpose. Well, ok, maybe it was my fault but the pushy little bitch boy kept pushing me so i pushed him back hard and his drink went all over him the pushy little bitch boy cries to his mamma and mamma demands i buy pushy little bitch boy a new drink "You own my friend a new drink" Of course, he didn't get a new drink. I just calmly explained to pushy little bitch boy that he better keep his hands off me.

For christ sakes, i'm 45 yrs old and i have to deal with immature idiots. I have to deal with kids at a bar. there must be a better way.

of course, Oh was more interested in getting the bitch boys protector's phone number then to stand by his friend. that annoyed me a lot. I explained twice what happened to him. He was aware of who i was talking about and what had happened and still, he wanted to make friends/fuck buddies with the protector of pushy little bitch boy. I'm pissed and i'm not sure i'm happy about that at all.

There has to be a better way than going to clubs.

I love Latino Men, I love Brazilian Men

02.05.2008 Male Bonding

is shaving your friends back a male bonding ritual that every one has to go through?
If it is, i don't wanna male bond anymore.

I'm almost positive that Oh wants to move in for a while until he gets his stuff together. It's not something i want to do at all. I'm very happy with my home and living alone and i don't want a room mate at all. What i want is no roomate but i'm not sure it's what i'm going to get. He's really demanding a lot of me lately and it's starting to put a strain on me.

What a handsome buzzed guy