Wednesday, December 9, 2009

12.09.2009 It's Hot in Here

Yes, it's hot in here. Oh left the heater BLASTING at over 100 degrees. No one home and the house was super HOT with the heater BLASTING.

I am not happy right now.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

11.28.2009 ThanksGiving Day BlahBlahBlah BsBsBs

TGiving started out fine but ended with a bang.

Oh did two things that angered me.
1. going out, he ignored me an gave John all his attention. I'm standing there all alone while Oh engages John. He noticed that i had my back toward him since he was ignorning me so he gave the the regular bull shit that "you are not engaging me or john" of course, there is one flaw in that statement since he was engaging with john and ignoring me. John wasn't engaging with me but oh said "you are not engaging me or john blahblahblah BSBSBS" BS.

Then he meets a friend of his, the owner of SFBadlands and he says to the owner "Owner, this is my friend John. We spent tgiving together" and then they had a nice bonding session and the ownergave John a drink and i was ignored again. i'm standing RIGHT NEXT TO OH and he ignores me. so i took two steps over and turned my back to them. ONce i did that, he realized what he had done and says "Um, this is my friend also...blahblahblah bsbsbs"... So OH says "Um...I thought you had met the guy before and didn't like him and you turned your back and blahblahblah" of course there is a flaw in that statement so i said "BULLSHIT!!" kind of loud and he got mad and i knew i went over board and i had to explain and apologize and he said "YOu have to give me the benefit of the doubt... blahblahblah bsbsbs"

2. Next day, he's driving my car and he's driving overly agressive and he decided to do an illegal move infront of a big bus. so is says "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!!! stop driving like a shit!" well, it didn't go over very well OH was pissed off and that was the end of the weekend. i'm really tired of him. i want him out of here.

Please move out and leave me alone.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

09.27.2009 Happy Folsom St. Day

I guess Hypocrite is a 9 letter word that you arent supposed to say?
Hypocrite was the wrong word, it should have been contradictory..? is that a word?
I should have apologized but ive apologized two times in the past two weeks.
Oh is once again pissed off and left for Folsom St Fair.
Locked up in the his bedroom, he stayed there all day saturday.
then around 6pm, he got prepared to leave and then 7pm he walked out door and said
I'll see you Sunday...
so i say Where are you going?
he just looks at me, stares and walks out the door.
...Well...Ok...if its going to be that way.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

09.10.2009 NPD

Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
I've been reading up on this an it's Oh with a bullseye on his face.
The more i read, the more i learn that i should cut bait and run.
RUN really fast.

"Decide to have no contact with the narcissist, if possible. Ignore him in social settings, don't answer the door if he shows up at your house, don't answer the phone when he calls and don't return emails. If you live with him and it's possible, either move out or demand that he does. "

He lives in my house and i'm supposed to get as far away from him as possible?

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

09.09.2009 Why Lie?

Oh has this major problem with the truth. i really don't think he lies but he has this odd belief that whatever he says is the truth so it's not really lying but more like his version of the truth which isn't the truth.

I called him on it and laughed at his ability to know just about every person in the world and he was not amused. Not amused at all. pissed off really. giving me the cold shoulder.

this weeeknd we are supposed to go to the bay area but i'm sure he's going to end up going only with John and not with me.
I think if that happens, i'm going to ask him to leave

Sunday, June 28, 2009

06.28.2009 Ouchie Gone & Random thoughts

Takes five days of hell before the ouchie goes away.

On to other good news.
well not so good since it's hella hot today. Over 100 and it's too hot, it's ten pm and it's still hot outside.

I screwed up my hair today.
decided i wanted to shave it up to the ear point and it didn't work out as i thought it would and now i think i shaved it too short since my skull skin is kind of raw and sensitive. It's also too damn white, i wish it would tan nicely like a good mexican can tan but for some reason it doesn't want to tan.

nice lunch today that john came to.
too damn hot to do anything but wash the cars.
went to beer bust and that was not interesting, i did see the really cute guy who has the puzzle piece tattoo on his leg. At first i only recognized him from Badlands, then the puzzle piece fell into place and i went "OH YEAH" he's the cute guy from the gym.

I liked transformers II for what it was, a big big action summer movie. wasn't shakespear, wasn't high minded, it was a big action movie with a bunch of explosions, with a cutie latino, and a lot of big robots that blew things up. Fun times. I got my money's worth.

Damn, it's still hot and it's 10.39pm
no work tomorrow

Friday, June 26, 2009

06.26.2009 Ouchie

Day 3 (or is it day 4?) but it's still ouch.
really OUCH!
i'm popping advil like jellybeans.
i have to look back and see when it's going to end.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

05.17.2009 Choose

A decision was made.
I'm going back to the way i was before OH moved in.
If i wanted to go bike riding.
I went bike riding.
If i wanted to go to SF.
I went to SF.
I didn't have to rely on anyone.
If i didn't go, then i was the one who flaked out.

Stop relying on others.

What does this mean to Oh?
It means what ever you want it to mean.
We didn't hang out with each other 24/7
If you wanted to do something with me, you did.

Friday, May 15, 2009

05.15.2009 Happy?

Don't rely on others for your happiness . . . .
Stop relying on others for your happiness . . . .

Sunday, April 26, 2009

04.26.2009 Getting There

It's getting there.

I'm remembering what it's like to live by myself and getting used to it.
I'll do things by myself and get used to it.
I't not that difficult to remember since it's been this way for a while lately.

Hot Latino Cowboy

Monday, April 13, 2009

04.13.2009 Monday Update

The update is that Oh is having a date with "Matt" either today at 7pm or Thursday.

I knew John was speaking shorthand and quietly behind my back on Sunday's Beer Bust at Badlands about Oh's plans. That's not nice.

04.13.2009 Happy Easter Monday

Day off! YEAH.
Furlough Day. BOO.
Day off! YEAH!

Sunday Beerbust wasn't all that bad just wasn't all that great but a few amusing moments and i came away with a smile on my face.
Oh did pick me up which was unexpected.
I wore that red shirt that didn't make me look all fat but was nice and fit sized and short sleeved so my arms kind of bulged out of them which made me happy but i was iffy and unsure if my looked kind of tubby fat but i went with it anyway.
Cute twinkie boy commented that he liked my arms and he liked my arms definition. he was envious of my arms which put a nice smile on my face. Cute Twinkie boy has great traps and looks amazing in a black square-cut tank top.

this cute young asian girl desperately wanted me to dance with her, i was on the verge of being annoyed but she was funny and kind of drunk.

Oh goes to John "I want you to workout with me again. I need you" i'm the old friend who is no longer shiny. easily forgotten.

Oh and John have these secrets that they share with me. A short-hand way of saying things that they want to keep me out of the loop. I noticed it twice. Once when they talked about Monday doing something together on Monday and once when they talked about tuesday. This definitely does not make me happy at all. John is Oh's best friend and he wants little to do with me so i wonder why should i extend my friendship by letting him live in my house. Rent free. for over a year?

Monday Latinos

Sunday, April 12, 2009

04.12.2009 Happy Easter

Happy Easter
Woke up.
Went to the gym (bicep day) (the really hot looking latino guy who walks like a baseball player or a gorilla not sure which but very Full Shoulder Chesty walk and his leg kind of oddly whips around. Very hot looking, dark skinned, dark hair, ugly muscle tat that obsures his awesome arms but still he has awesome arms, shoulders and very sexy legs, i'm going to have to look at the butt since i'm not usually noticing the butt)
Nice bicep day, my arms are still sore.
went to brunch with Oh and John and felt really apart from them, kind of left out of the conversation and distanced and i noticed i let it be known and kind of did and kind of didn't want it known but it happened.
came home and jogged for the first time this year. It was a good start, my legs were kind of sore at the start but eventually i got used to it but it was mainly a long walk and some minor jogging in between. Hot looking shirtless hairy chested Super HOT HUNKY LEGS was jogging with his girlfriend and their adorable rats (chiuhichis (sic))
came home, showed, watched tv.
Now internet.
later i guess i'll have an awful time at beerbust at badlands.
Oh went to the gym so i'm going to guess, he's going to give John a ride and them with me, he will say, "You can drive yourself" which will piss me off since he will give john a ride and not me. asshole.
we will see how this goes tonight.

I need to get in this habit of jogging.
HOt Cowboys kissing and they are latino, perfect

Saturday, April 11, 2009

04.11.2009 2nd Saturday are Shits

That was close.
Oh called sand wanted me to go to Second Saturday downtown and i said no way, i don't drive down there since i can never find any parking and i'm not driving around and around.
He said this and i said that and the phone call ended me being pissed off and just hanging up.
Basically, i was pissed off that he didn't offer to come pick me up to go to Second Saturday.
Man was i pissed off.
Without hesitation, I always give Oh a ride here and there.
Without hesitation, I always let him use my car when his car is junked out and he wants to save gas.
It was last year, right after his car was repo'ed, i drove him to a Second Saturday and didn't go.
It was last year, right after his car was repo'ed, i drove him around when he didn't have transportation.
Man was i pissed off, that he didn't offer to come give me a ride.
I was all set to kick him out of here.
My mind was starting to go places that are funny but are definitely not nice.
then Oh came home and offered to give me a ride and wanted me to go.
I didn't want to go mainly because of last week when he said "Man, i feel like i'm in prison" but i thanked him for coming and offering me a ride. that was nice.

i'm such a doormat.

04.11.2009 Hide and Go Run

It happened again. it's an old story.
Oh hid in his room this morning and waited until i left to Home Depot, then he ran as fast as he could and went to John.
i'm thinking, they wanted to get an early start to SF.
He didn't want to bother asking me to go with him so he hid and then ran.

Hot Shoulders

Sunday, April 5, 2009

04.05.2009 Nothing Happened

I was waiting for something to happen and nothing did.
Is that good or bad?
I keep waiting for others but i have to stop relying on others.
Think about it.
There has to be a change.
Something different.
Something i have to do instead of waiting for it to happen.
I've had opportunities and i let them pass.
Think about it
Do it instead of waiting.

04.05.2009 The Shut Out

So it goes.
Oh is mad at me and he's going to shut me out.
He spent the whole day in his bedroom. Locked and and didn't come out once.

Then around 2pm, he comes out, gets something to eat, says a few words to me and then takes a shower and leaves.

This is a reminder of when he first met John and he was using the house as a pit stop. I almost asked him to out and in with John the last time because i wasn't going to let him use my house as a pit stop and i didn't like being ignored and treated like a nobody. Less than a friend.

I'm going to see how this goes.

If he plans on shutting me out. Giving me the cold shoulder then i'll have to have The TALK.

Oh is living in my house because he's my friend and he needs someplace to stay.
Living in my house is for family and friends.
If Oh doesn't think of me as a friend then i don't think it's right that he should stay at my house.
I don't think it's right that i should have someone living in my house who clearly doesn't like me.

I'll have to work on THE TALK.

Fur, Abs, Hot Bod in a cowboy hat

Saturday, April 4, 2009

04.04.2009 Don't Look Back

I have a pimple in the middle of my forehead.
I had a nice arm workout, i have to start writting down my routine so i know what i did and then top it.
Damn cute, italian stud at the gym today. handsome cute. damn.

Yard work complete.

last night, Oh, John and me walked around downtown. We used my car since Oh said his brake lights are broken. I'm not believing but i'm ok with using my car.
Last Night, Oh asked Alex if i wanted to go to SF tomorrow and spend the day with him and John. Unfortuately, my name is not Alex. I said no cause i was pissed off and because i had yard work. He can use his own damn car.

of course, the night hit the fan.

Oh is pissed off at me cause i brought up the fact that on january 27 2008, he said Joey was a barebacker and had aids. I said this in front of John and he was pissed off. I had to look back on the blog to remember when it happened but yep. Januray 27 2008.

I've known Oh for over 10 years and Oh still can't remember my name. He keeps calling me Alex. it is no longer funny infact it never was funny. it's not happening on purpose, he just keeps calling me Alex.

I did yard work, Oh spent all his time in "his" room and didn't come out once while i was doing yard work.
I cleaned the kitchen. spotless. Oh didn't come out once while i was cleaning the kitchen. spotless.

I'm kind of sure he went to SF with John when i went to costco.
I kind of figured that was going to happen. His car of course had no problems, he just said that cause he wanted to use my car to drive him and john to SF.
it's typical Oh behavior.

Why does he continue to live here when he knows he's not wanted here?
oh yeh.
Free room and board.

Hopefully, he'll move out this summer. move in with John.
i really want him out of here.

If he plans on giving me the silent treatment or some kind of shit cause he's mad at me, then i'm going to ask him to move out. I won't allow anyone who hates me, living in my house for free.

Latino and great shoulders. I love shoulders.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

03.11.2009 I Want Cake

You can't eat your cake and have it too.
I told Oh to leave on Tuesday and Wedesday and he's hanging out with John which is annoying but i'm refraining from complaining since you can't eat your cake and have it too.

I tried to do squats today and started badly so i guess it's best i'm doing this at home instead of the gym. Man those new exercises are difficult. I need to keep it up and i need to get back into a regular workout groove since i stopped for two weeks since i had the damn Cold from hell.

I can't find many shirtless pictures of Terrell Owens which is bothering me. There should be more.

I can't find the original video of Madonna's Bad Girl which i've read is sort of like Looking For Mr. Goodbar.

Slightly obsessed with Elton John's version of Lucy in the Sky

Damn, that cold took forever to go away. It's still trying to hang on but it's going. I still have the second coming of the pink eye and the cough sometimes coughs up.

Beef in a REDHAT!

Monday, February 16, 2009

02.16.2009 The Day After

Oh yeh. yesterday was my birthday.
only one person noticed which is the way i prefer it.
relatively speaking, i had an ok time at badlands last night.
i still hated being there and i felt so alone most of the evening.
Oh and John were the couple and i was forgotten some (not most) of the evening but i would look around and feel so alone and lonely but Oh did make an effort (Unlike saturday) and John even reached out which was nice but in a way it felt like "i won so i can be nice to you now"
So the birthday wasn't suicidal but was bearable.
i want to eat my cake and have it too, i want people to pat me on the back for my birthday but i don't want a fuss cause it's my birthday. ignore it but don't ignore it. give me the gifts and then leave me alone.

Today, Oh and i had a long discussion on me feeling excluded and left out. now that it's out in the open, I don't think i'm going to be able to say my little sarcastic jokes for a while without getting yelled at. Bummer, i liked those jokes. I liked being able to say "So, what are you and John doing today" "So, where are you and John going" I liked referring to Oh as "You and John" too bad there isn't a good way to "Brangalina" their name

Sunday, January 25, 2009

01.25.2009 Liar Liar

I've called him a liar to his face before and he really didn't get that mad at me.

He lies to me a lot
I asked him
"Are you and John going to the party"
He says "No, John's not going. Eric is kind of weird about it and only wants a few people"
So he goes to the party with John and he knows that i know he's lying.
So the next day, i ask him what he did yesterday and he says "well first, we drove i went to Eric's party"
It's actually kind of funny since i ALMOST catch him in a lie but he recovers really quickly.
If he wants nothing to do with me.....blah blah blah blah blah.
He's out tonight with John again dancing.
He seriously needs to move in with John.
I think it would be funny since i don't think John would allow him to sponge off him as easily as i have.
I have a feeling John would make him pull his own weight and that's not why he's lving with John.

If things get back to the way they were with Oh using the house as a pit stop, i'm not going to let that happen.
We are heading down a dark road and i don't think there is any way back.
As i've said, i believe this is going to end messy and the friendship will end if it hasn't already ended.

01.25.2009 The Neighborhood Party

I am so down.
I am so depressed right now.
I got that knot in my throat and i feel like i am going to cry.
I's so angry.
I want him out of here.

Here's a guy who know's i'm not happy with him being here but still he stays here.
Well, who wouldn't
No Rent
No Utilities
No one to bug you to clean your room/bathroom.
Life is good for him.

He has no job
He hasn't had a job since November.

I just weish he'd have moved in with J.
He needs to move out of here and move in with J.

The friendship has been destroyed.
There really is no friendship anymore.
So really no reason for him to live here anymore.

I need to have the talk with him and ask him to leave.

The One Year Anniversary is in a couple of weeks so i think if things go along this path, i'm going to have a reason to talk with him about moving out. It's also the same week that we get furloughed so i'm on pretty good grounds to ask him to move out or move in with j.

This isn't going to end pretty.
Most likely, he's going to hate me but guess what, i know he already does and he's just using me now.

I am such a sap.