The Elephant
It's not discussed much in the house. Well, it's not discussed at all. Oh still doesn't have a car and now he's settled into staying at home, sitting on the couch and watching TV. This worries me a lot, he doesn't seem worried or down about it though he did say "i'm just keeping my head above water".
So now i'm kind of the chauffer and i drive him around. I"m not going to offer the car or the truck. That's a No NO.
It has become a little difficult lately and yet, i'm not in such a bad mood lately mainly because i don't want him to feel worse than i think he probably is feeling? but what if he's not?
And now to a more upbeat note...maybe?
R__?
is that going to be another one date date?
or is there going to be another one?
I"m not even sure he liked me at all.
I would like to call R__ this week and see if he wanted to hang out this weekend. I hate that he only has friday's and his Saturday is a like a Sunday so he has to go to bed early since he works on Sundays. So the only really time we have is on Friday or Saturday afternoon. I'm thinking about maybe either dinner on friday or brunch on saturday and something casual. He doesn't like downtown so it's going to have to be someplace other. I wish i could go to SF and spend the afternoon with him. that would be fun but this week jit's too late to plan and next weekend, i have to work overtime at work.
sucks.
Ah well, R__ is really not my type at all.
He's on the short side.
He's a very white guy.
He's a republican.
He's kind of geeky in love with his guns.
The things i do like about him are he's pretty talkative.
He's a nice guy
He's intelligent.
He has a paying job that he likes and he's not poor.
He has a cute stocky body that's adorable.
He's actually an adorable man.
He's cute though i don't like cute but he's a cutie.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Sunday, August 3, 2008
8.03.2008 Knock! Knock!
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
Who's there?
Repo man...
Repo man Who?
Repo man took Oh's car today.
It's a Sunday and he got his car reposessed.
On one hand, i feel really bad, i almost wanted to cry, i felt so bad and confused and relieved it wasn't me and relieved because i thought they were cops and were going to arrest Oh.
On the other hand, i'm wondering how he's going to get around, I have two vehicles but i know for a fact, i'm not letting him use my car and maybe sometime, i'll be ok for him to use the truck but damnit, i'm doing a lot and more than is expected of me, I am letting him stay here for free so why should i dip in extra and have to help him out with his car problems/repossed.?
I'm not lending him money (or any more since he owes me the money for the amsterdam trip).
I'm not lending him the use of the truck or the car so he can go partying around town and out of town.
He knew about this.
He said he knew they were going to take it away on Monday but i guess they were early but he knew about this.
He's been going on trips to Amsterdam. To LA and he's a frequent traveler to the bay area. Those things cost money and he was going to Brazil and Houston too. He wanted to go to Palm Springs the next holiday. Those things cost money. Instead of diverting money to where he should, he was partying around here and there.
I'm not this way at all. If i have to pay for something, like rent or a car payment, i will do without other things. When i was in santa barbara, i ate stove top stuffing to pay for the rent. i was almost anorexic because i wasn't eating correctly and i was paying rent. This is the way i am. i do without to make sure my bills are paid. He doesn't do this. i'm amazed and really annoyed.
I'm going to have to hide the car keys now and also hid the petty cash because, in all honesty, i really don't trust him anymore.
This post is about a hour after my last post.
In that hour, things have really changed for the worse.
I feel bad that he's in the predicament he's in but he put himself in the position.
He had a very well paying job and because of mid life crisis, he decides to quit.
I can be sympathetic but my sympathy only goes so far and i'm getting to the end of that line.
that decision of his was his decision but without my vote, it's having an effect on me too which i'm not happy about.
man i feel like crying right now.
Who's there?
Repo man...
Repo man Who?
Repo man took Oh's car today.
It's a Sunday and he got his car reposessed.
On one hand, i feel really bad, i almost wanted to cry, i felt so bad and confused and relieved it wasn't me and relieved because i thought they were cops and were going to arrest Oh.
On the other hand, i'm wondering how he's going to get around, I have two vehicles but i know for a fact, i'm not letting him use my car and maybe sometime, i'll be ok for him to use the truck but damnit, i'm doing a lot and more than is expected of me, I am letting him stay here for free so why should i dip in extra and have to help him out with his car problems/repossed.?
I'm not lending him money (or any more since he owes me the money for the amsterdam trip).
I'm not lending him the use of the truck or the car so he can go partying around town and out of town.
He knew about this.
He said he knew they were going to take it away on Monday but i guess they were early but he knew about this.
He's been going on trips to Amsterdam. To LA and he's a frequent traveler to the bay area. Those things cost money and he was going to Brazil and Houston too. He wanted to go to Palm Springs the next holiday. Those things cost money. Instead of diverting money to where he should, he was partying around here and there.
I'm not this way at all. If i have to pay for something, like rent or a car payment, i will do without other things. When i was in santa barbara, i ate stove top stuffing to pay for the rent. i was almost anorexic because i wasn't eating correctly and i was paying rent. This is the way i am. i do without to make sure my bills are paid. He doesn't do this. i'm amazed and really annoyed.
I'm going to have to hide the car keys now and also hid the petty cash because, in all honesty, i really don't trust him anymore.
This post is about a hour after my last post.
In that hour, things have really changed for the worse.
I feel bad that he's in the predicament he's in but he put himself in the position.
He had a very well paying job and because of mid life crisis, he decides to quit.
I can be sympathetic but my sympathy only goes so far and i'm getting to the end of that line.
that decision of his was his decision but without my vote, it's having an effect on me too which i'm not happy about.
man i feel like crying right now.
08.03.2008 It's all part of the Plan...?
So is this the plan?
To drive Oh crazy mad at me so he moves out?
Is it really a plan or is it just happening?
Lately i can find just about anything to get mad at Oh.
Everything was going along pretty smoothly because i had R__ showing interest in me. So i think i was in a good mood. But now it's back that Oh is annoying me about anything and everything.
I got mad the other day because he is going to 2nd saturday with bipolar man and he invited me to go. The reason is odd but follow along. I've wanted to go to 2nd saturday for a long while, it sounds fun but i don't go because Oh has stated many times in the past that he hates it and thinks it stupid and maybe has said he wouldn't be caught dead at 2nd saturday.
I have this policy that i will never ask anyone to do anything they don't want to do. I don't want to drag someone to sometlhing and have to feel like they are not having fun and that would ruin any of my fun so it's a rule. Do not ask anyone to do something that they don't want to do. So i would never ask Oh to go to 2nd Saturday.
Bipolar asks him to go to 2nd satudary and he's all for it. ?
so i wasn't very happy about that. we dragged it out and fought about it and decided that we both have different ideas on things and nothing was settled but at least be both got it out in the air. I don't plan on changing for Oh and i know he's not going to change for me.
So.
He's going to 2nd saturday with a load of friends including Bipolar man and i will not go because i don't like Bipolar man. I'd have a awful time and i'm not going. So Oh is not happy wiht me.
Oh gave me a speech about how he likes to do things with me and it's not the activity but it's the company but the reality is that Europe happened. He said he would do stuff i wanted to do but in Amsterdam, I got the speech after i asked him what he wanted to do in the afternnoon . He said " I want to go back to the hotel but i can't be Robert won't do anything by himself" That really hurt my feelings and after that comment, the trip was done and i was really upset after that.
He's now pissed off at me because i'm kind of cold toward him. and just about anything i say kind of pisses him off which i think is because he wants to get in his "diggs" before i get in mine.
Is that my plan?
Sunday's Men in Cowboy hats...He's furry and pretty and has nice nips/pierces
To drive Oh crazy mad at me so he moves out?
Is it really a plan or is it just happening?
Lately i can find just about anything to get mad at Oh.
Everything was going along pretty smoothly because i had R__ showing interest in me. So i think i was in a good mood. But now it's back that Oh is annoying me about anything and everything.
I got mad the other day because he is going to 2nd saturday with bipolar man and he invited me to go. The reason is odd but follow along. I've wanted to go to 2nd saturday for a long while, it sounds fun but i don't go because Oh has stated many times in the past that he hates it and thinks it stupid and maybe has said he wouldn't be caught dead at 2nd saturday.
I have this policy that i will never ask anyone to do anything they don't want to do. I don't want to drag someone to sometlhing and have to feel like they are not having fun and that would ruin any of my fun so it's a rule. Do not ask anyone to do something that they don't want to do. So i would never ask Oh to go to 2nd Saturday.
Bipolar asks him to go to 2nd satudary and he's all for it. ?
so i wasn't very happy about that. we dragged it out and fought about it and decided that we both have different ideas on things and nothing was settled but at least be both got it out in the air. I don't plan on changing for Oh and i know he's not going to change for me.
So.
He's going to 2nd saturday with a load of friends including Bipolar man and i will not go because i don't like Bipolar man. I'd have a awful time and i'm not going. So Oh is not happy wiht me.
Oh gave me a speech about how he likes to do things with me and it's not the activity but it's the company but the reality is that Europe happened. He said he would do stuff i wanted to do but in Amsterdam, I got the speech after i asked him what he wanted to do in the afternnoon . He said " I want to go back to the hotel but i can't be Robert won't do anything by himself" That really hurt my feelings and after that comment, the trip was done and i was really upset after that.
He's now pissed off at me because i'm kind of cold toward him. and just about anything i say kind of pisses him off which i think is because he wants to get in his "diggs" before i get in mine.
Is that my plan?
Sunday's Men in Cowboy hats...He's furry and pretty and has nice nips/pierces
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
07.30.2008 Goodbye to Minimal
Yeah! today is payday.
My favorite time of the month.
We find out tomorrow if the Gov is going to start paying us minimum wage. the bastid.
i can feel the weather starting to warm up but luckily it's still in the lower 90's. the AC is on and off.
I wanted to go jogging.
I didn't go jogging.
Went food shopping with Oh at Costco today.
i was so happy this weekend, i would look at the kitchen and say "it's so clean and minimal"
well that ended today.
Oh bought a load of junk and now it's all over everything in the kitchen. I miss living alone.
he left to go do coffee today and leave me to a workout but by the time he left, the urge to workout had left so i just watched Venture Bros. and i'm now here.
I'm still wondering why i'm going out on a date with R__. He's really not my type at all but i guess you have to put yourself out there and be a little social.
Tomorrow, i have to figure out what i'm going to wear to the date. I'm thinking casual so maybe a nice shirt wiht some nice jeans or maybe some cords.
I'll figure it out but it has to be very casual and that means no tanks or tshirts.
have to remember the "do not be negative" stuff that i have to remember.
My favorite time of the month.
We find out tomorrow if the Gov is going to start paying us minimum wage. the bastid.
i can feel the weather starting to warm up but luckily it's still in the lower 90's. the AC is on and off.
I wanted to go jogging.
I didn't go jogging.
Went food shopping with Oh at Costco today.
i was so happy this weekend, i would look at the kitchen and say "it's so clean and minimal"
well that ended today.
Oh bought a load of junk and now it's all over everything in the kitchen. I miss living alone.
he left to go do coffee today and leave me to a workout but by the time he left, the urge to workout had left so i just watched Venture Bros. and i'm now here.
I'm still wondering why i'm going out on a date with R__. He's really not my type at all but i guess you have to put yourself out there and be a little social.
Tomorrow, i have to figure out what i'm going to wear to the date. I'm thinking casual so maybe a nice shirt wiht some nice jeans or maybe some cords.
I'll figure it out but it has to be very casual and that means no tanks or tshirts.
have to remember the "do not be negative" stuff that i have to remember.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
07.29.2008 I wanna jog today
I wanted to go jogging.
I didn't go jogging.
I did a so so shoulder workout.
I think i'm now doing more of a workout on the shoulders at the gym now.
since Oh moved in, my tuesday shoulder workout is now extinct, well until he has dates like today.
he said he's going to move back to alabama in winter cause summer in alabama is atroctious.
I really want to jog today but now it's too late.
maybe tomorrow.
R-- keeps calling at my bedtime. I kind of know he's going to call but i turn off my ringer to the cell so i don't have to answer at my bedtime. i needs my sleep. I'm not really sure i'm all that interested in him. He isn't my type at all. he's very white looking. he's balding which is hot on some guys if they buzz it really close which from his profile, i think he does but i think he's on the short size. i'm not into short guys. i may like his personality but the republican thing kind of bothers me. he called me again last night and left a message to call him back. left his phone number too. i already have it on my cell phone. it's now 7.15pm so i would guess he's out of work so i should call him . Oh is out on a date so i would have my privacy. which is good.
I didn't go jogging.
I did a so so shoulder workout.
I think i'm now doing more of a workout on the shoulders at the gym now.
since Oh moved in, my tuesday shoulder workout is now extinct, well until he has dates like today.
he said he's going to move back to alabama in winter cause summer in alabama is atroctious.
I really want to jog today but now it's too late.
maybe tomorrow.
R-- keeps calling at my bedtime. I kind of know he's going to call but i turn off my ringer to the cell so i don't have to answer at my bedtime. i needs my sleep. I'm not really sure i'm all that interested in him. He isn't my type at all. he's very white looking. he's balding which is hot on some guys if they buzz it really close which from his profile, i think he does but i think he's on the short size. i'm not into short guys. i may like his personality but the republican thing kind of bothers me. he called me again last night and left a message to call him back. left his phone number too. i already have it on my cell phone. it's now 7.15pm so i would guess he's out of work so i should call him . Oh is out on a date so i would have my privacy. which is good.
Friday, July 4, 2008
07.04.2008 Happy 4th
Coincidence?
Bozo the Clown died today.
Jesse Helms died today.
....
Going to Baz bbq later today. I'm cooking the world famous chili for the pot luck. Hopefully, they will eat it all because i already did my pigout ona chocolate cake.
Gym was a good chest workout. Very cutie tall slim kid in a wifebeater was working chest and he was handsome. Not much else worth noting.
Tomorrow is bicep and
maybe sunday is shoulder and
maybe monday is back
I need to do a lot more cardio to get rid of the tummy.
Oh is out of town, in LA and again, i'm envious that i didn't get to go but he didn't seem like he really wanted me to go along so i got the hint and i really didn't want to go through the same thing that happened in Amsterdam where he said "dammit, i have to stay out cause you don't want to go anyplace by yourself" damn that hurt my feelings so i'm more aware and decided i don't want to go where i'm not wanted. Still nice to have the house to myself for the weekend and next week cause he's in SJ.
Nice that Baz invited me even though i don't see him much. hopefully there will be cuties for me to meet but most likely all not my type.
Was sort of destructive so i buzzed all my hair off again. I have the mental patient/ insane asylum inmate look so i'll have to wear a baseball hat.
downloaded a load of Depeche Mode music for the July commute playlist ipod
Bozo the Clown died today.
Jesse Helms died today.
....
Going to Baz bbq later today. I'm cooking the world famous chili for the pot luck. Hopefully, they will eat it all because i already did my pigout ona chocolate cake.
Gym was a good chest workout. Very cutie tall slim kid in a wifebeater was working chest and he was handsome. Not much else worth noting.
Tomorrow is bicep and
maybe sunday is shoulder and
maybe monday is back
I need to do a lot more cardio to get rid of the tummy.
Oh is out of town, in LA and again, i'm envious that i didn't get to go but he didn't seem like he really wanted me to go along so i got the hint and i really didn't want to go through the same thing that happened in Amsterdam where he said "dammit, i have to stay out cause you don't want to go anyplace by yourself" damn that hurt my feelings so i'm more aware and decided i don't want to go where i'm not wanted. Still nice to have the house to myself for the weekend and next week cause he's in SJ.
Nice that Baz invited me even though i don't see him much. hopefully there will be cuties for me to meet but most likely all not my type.
Was sort of destructive so i buzzed all my hair off again. I have the mental patient/ insane asylum inmate look so i'll have to wear a baseball hat.
downloaded a load of Depeche Mode music for the July commute playlist ipod
Sunday, June 29, 2008
06.29.2008 A Quote About Gay Bars (Scene)
From Ben Patrick Johnson:
What are your favorite gay bars and/or dance clubs in Los Angeles? What do you like about them?
Bars and dance clubs are an important facet of our community's visibility, both historically and today. They serve as a social nexus as well as being many gay people's first experience of acceptance (of sorts) by a group. However, for me, bars and clubs hold little interest at this point; they served a role for me in my early 20s, but that phase of my life has passed. I'm on to other stuff now.
What are your favorite gay bars and/or dance clubs in Los Angeles? What do you like about them?
Bars and dance clubs are an important facet of our community's visibility, both historically and today. They serve as a social nexus as well as being many gay people's first experience of acceptance (of sorts) by a group. However, for me, bars and clubs hold little interest at this point; they served a role for me in my early 20s, but that phase of my life has passed. I'm on to other stuff now.
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