04.05.2009 The Shut Out

So it goes.
Oh is mad at me and he's going to shut me out.
He spent the whole day in his bedroom. Locked and and didn't come out once.

Then around 2pm, he comes out, gets something to eat, says a few words to me and then takes a shower and leaves.

This is a reminder of when he first met John and he was using the house as a pit stop. I almost asked him to out and in with John the last time because i wasn't going to let him use my house as a pit stop and i didn't like being ignored and treated like a nobody. Less than a friend.

I'm going to see how this goes.

If he plans on shutting me out. Giving me the cold shoulder then i'll have to have The TALK.

Oh is living in my house because he's my friend and he needs someplace to stay.
Living in my house is for family and friends.
If Oh doesn't think of me as a friend then i don't think it's right that he should stay at my house.
I don't think it's right that i should have someone living in my house who clearly doesn't like me.

I'll have to work on THE TALK.

Fur, Abs, Hot Bod in a cowboy hat

04.04.2009 Don't Look Back

I have a pimple in the middle of my forehead.
Nice.
I had a nice arm workout, i have to start writting down my routine so i know what i did and then top it.
Damn cute, italian stud at the gym today. handsome cute. damn.

Yard work complete.

last night, Oh, John and me walked around downtown. We used my car since Oh said his brake lights are broken. I'm not believing but i'm ok with using my car.
Last Night, Oh asked Alex if i wanted to go to SF tomorrow and spend the day with him and John. Unfortuately, my name is not Alex. I said no cause i was pissed off and because i had yard work. He can use his own damn car.

of course, the night hit the fan.

Oh is pissed off at me cause i brought up the fact that on january 27 2008, he said Joey was a barebacker and had aids. I said this in front of John and he was pissed off. I had to look back on the blog to remember when it happened but yep. Januray 27 2008.

I've known Oh for over 10 years and Oh still can't remember my name. He keeps calling me Alex. it is no longer funny infact it never was funny. it's not happening on purpose, he just keeps calling me Alex.

I did yard work, Oh spent all his time in "his" room and didn't come out once while i was doing yard work.
I cleaned the kitchen. spotless. Oh didn't come out once while i was cleaning the kitchen. spotless.

I'm kind of sure he went to SF with John when i went to costco.
I kind of figured that was going to happen. His car of course had no problems, he just said that cause he wanted to use my car to drive him and john to SF.
it's typical Oh behavior.

Why does he continue to live here when he knows he's not wanted here?
oh yeh.
Free room and board.

Hopefully, he'll move out this summer. move in with John.
i really want him out of here.

If he plans on giving me the silent treatment or some kind of shit cause he's mad at me, then i'm going to ask him to move out. I won't allow anyone who hates me, living in my house for free.

Latino and great shoulders. I love shoulders.

03.11.2009 I Want Cake

You can't eat your cake and have it too.
I told Oh to leave on Tuesday and Wedesday and he's hanging out with John which is annoying but i'm refraining from complaining since you can't eat your cake and have it too.

I tried to do squats today and started badly so i guess it's best i'm doing this at home instead of the gym. Man those new exercises are difficult. I need to keep it up and i need to get back into a regular workout groove since i stopped for two weeks since i had the damn Cold from hell.

I can't find many shirtless pictures of Terrell Owens which is bothering me. There should be more.

I can't find the original video of Madonna's Bad Girl which i've read is sort of like Looking For Mr. Goodbar.

Slightly obsessed with Elton John's version of Lucy in the Sky

Damn, that cold took forever to go away. It's still trying to hang on but it's going. I still have the second coming of the pink eye and the cough sometimes coughs up.

Beef in a REDHAT!

02.16.2009 The Day After

Oh yeh. yesterday was my birthday.
only one person noticed which is the way i prefer it.
relatively speaking, i had an ok time at badlands last night.
i still hated being there and i felt so alone most of the evening.
Oh and John were the couple and i was forgotten some (not most) of the evening but i would look around and feel so alone and lonely but Oh did make an effort (Unlike saturday) and John even reached out which was nice but in a way it felt like "i won so i can be nice to you now"
So the birthday wasn't suicidal but was bearable.
i want to eat my cake and have it too, i want people to pat me on the back for my birthday but i don't want a fuss cause it's my birthday. ignore it but don't ignore it. give me the gifts and then leave me alone.

Today, Oh and i had a long discussion on me feeling excluded and left out. now that it's out in the open, I don't think i'm going to be able to say my little sarcastic jokes for a while without getting yelled at. Bummer, i liked those jokes. I liked being able to say "So, what are you and John doing today" "So, where are you and John going" I liked referring to Oh as "You and John" too bad there isn't a good way to "Brangalina" their name

01.25.2009 Liar Liar

I've called him a liar to his face before and he really didn't get that mad at me.

He lies to me a lot
I asked him
"Are you and John going to the party"
He says "No, John's not going. Eric is kind of weird about it and only wants a few people"
So he goes to the party with John and he knows that i know he's lying.
So the next day, i ask him what he did yesterday and he says "well first, we drove ....um i went to Eric's party"
It's actually kind of funny since i ALMOST catch him in a lie but he recovers really quickly.
If he wants nothing to do with me.....blah blah blah blah blah.
He's out tonight with John again dancing.
He seriously needs to move in with John.
I think it would be funny since i don't think John would allow him to sponge off him as easily as i have.
I have a feeling John would make him pull his own weight and that's not why he's lving with John.

If things get back to the way they were with Oh using the house as a pit stop, i'm not going to let that happen.
We are heading down a dark road and i don't think there is any way back.
As i've said, i believe this is going to end messy and the friendship will end if it hasn't already ended.

01.25.2009 The Neighborhood Party

I am so down.
I am so depressed right now.
I got that knot in my throat and i feel like i am going to cry.
I's so angry.
I want him out of here.
I WANT HIM OUT OF HERE!

Here's a guy who know's i'm not happy with him being here but still he stays here.
Well, who wouldn't
No Rent
No Utilities
No one to bug you to clean your room/bathroom.
Life is good for him.

He has no job
He hasn't had a job since November.

I just weish he'd have moved in with J.
He needs to move out of here and move in with J.

The friendship has been destroyed.
There really is no friendship anymore.
So really no reason for him to live here anymore.

I need to have the talk with him and ask him to leave.

The One Year Anniversary is in a couple of weeks so i think if things go along this path, i'm going to have a reason to talk with him about moving out. It's also the same week that we get furloughed so i'm on pretty good grounds to ask him to move out or move in with j.

This isn't going to end pretty.
Most likely, he's going to hate me but guess what, i know he already does and he's just using me now.

I am such a sap.

12.26.2008 Xmas Hangover

That has got to be the worst xmas ever.
It was bad.
Oh pissed me off a lot.
His plan to spend xmas with his bipolar buddy ruined my xmas. He had a plan and he got his way and he didn't even care how i felt. I almost didn't go to the xmas dinner but decided to do my best to ruin Oh's day.
I didn't even speak to oh on the hour drive, it was all part of the plan.
I was going to give him the impression i was going to be really debbie downer at the dinner but i knew that the moment i walked in the door, i was going to flip the switch and become very socialable. I know the minute i got out of the car, Oh told Jon that if i ruined his day, he was going to let me get home on my own. Which would have been cool since i would have kicked him out of the house that night. I did get a few funny mean shots at bipolar man, i'm very proud of those becasue they were very mean and it made me feel good. i think bipolar knows how i feel now and maybe i'll be able to deal with him better.
My wheels are turning over this new development.
cool.

The dinner was nice. i was able to be super socialable because i got drunker and drunker. The hour long drive home was awful, the world was spinning, car lights were buzzing by and making things spin more, i was near puking the whole way back but i wasn't going to give Oh the satisfaction of pulling over. It might have been fun to puke in the car but i didn't think that was a good idea.

Got home and luckily i wasn't very hung over this morning. glad i took the day off today. i'm not sure i want to go to the gym today, maybe a day off would be good.
tomorrow is another day.

Very white skin and huge bicep, tricep, and forearm. i'm getting hot now.